If Only We Could Be Squids
by Hazelmist
Summary: Kind of a Prequel to Ill Fight For You. Heather Moon has a chat with the Giant Squid, about men, relationships and a clueless, completely unromantic Daniel Potter.


**Title**: If Only We Could Be Squids  
**Author:** Summer  
**Summary:** Kind of a Prequel to _Ill Fight For You_. Heather Moon has a chat with the Giant Squid, about men, relationships and a clueless, completely unromantic Daniel Potter.  
**Rating:** PG  
**Disclaimer:** Um, they're kind of mine, but of course they're James's parents, in case you didn't notice, so I guess I own their personalities?  
**Author's Note:** I had this old one shot about James's parents, and I decided to change their names so they fit the Ill _Fight For You_ storyline. I hope you like it.

"_Extingo_."

With a flick of my wand, the shadows and the dancing flames disappear. The hallway plunges into darkness as one by one the torches are extinguished. _The spell will last no more than three minutes._ I muffle the sound of my footsteps with a charm, and run through the pitch blackness. Instinct, six long years of traveling and living in these halls and staircases, is my only guide in this dark twisting maze.

_No one will be patrolling the third and second floor corridors. _I catch my breath, slowing to a walk. Even so, I keep my wand raised and my eyes moving. True to his word, I meet no one.

_Find the Statue of Psychotic Cecilia and tap it with your wand. _I locate the statue, and tap it with my wand. A hard shove and it slides out of the way. A dark hooded figure greets me on the other side.

I scream, or I would've, if a large hand hadn't clapped over my mouth. I hear the statue slide into place behind me.

Trapped.

"Shut up, do you want to get us all killed?" I relax, recognizing the hoarse voice. Playfully I nibble on his fingers. Startled, he drops his hand, and his hood falls back. I giggle softly at the sight of the impossibly messy brown hair which even now is sticking straight up in the back.

"Merlin's beard, Heather, what'd you do that for?" he asks, running the hand through his untidy hair.

I shrug my shoulders, pushing my annoying glasses back up the bridge of my nose. To be honest, I have no idea what came over me. It was completely random. But random things like this always seem to pop up when I'm in the presence of the great Daniel Potter, who happens to be one of the greatest seekers Gryffindor has ever seen, an up and coming auror, and not to mention, Witch Weekly's Most Eligible Bachelor. Despite the fact that he graduated two years ago, Danny's still one of my closest friends. We used to be on the Gryffindor team together (I'm the best Chaser they've got), and he's an old family friend. He knows he can trust me and he says that I have potential, so tonight he asked me to join a task force of field aurors on a secret mission in Hogsmeade.

"Come on, they said they're going to be a little late." He takes me by the hand, leading me out into the night.

"Good, we'll have plenty of time to catch up." I squeeze his hand, gently nudging him with my shoulder in the direction of the lake.

The lake look's amazing tonight. A full moon fills the sky and the reflection in the rippling water takes my breath away.

"Isn't it romantic?" I sigh wistfully, dragging him toward it.

"Women and their fantasies," he mutters, rolling his eyes.

"Men and their lack of brains and romance." I free my hand and stomp off to a secluded area where I can sit down without having to worry about a nosy teacher with no life spotting me out here in the moonlight.

"Hey, I happen to have a brain," Daniel protests, following me.

"I have no doubt, but you never use it." I smile sweetly up at him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asks frowning.

"Nothing," I lie.

He looks at me for a long moment, and then starts walking slowly around the lake, taking in the surroundings as he goes. I watch him until he's out of ear shot. Groaning, I drop my chin into my hands.

"I hate men," I say to no one in particular.

Far out in the water the Giant Squid waves a tantalizing tentacle. It's as if it's mocking me.

"Easy for you to say, you don't exactly have relationship issues, do you?" I growl.

"I mean, you probably don't even have a girlfriend, or a boyfriend, you're just, well, the Giant Squid." I pause, watching as the tentacle unfurls, flexing. "It must be nice to be you. All you do is stay under water all day, and come out every once in a while to push some kid out of the boat or scare some poor student studying. You really do, you have the life, don't you?" The tentacle flashes in the moonlight, and with a final splash slowly sinks back into the water. "Hey wait, we're not finished talking here! Where do you think you're going?" I demand, but the squid isn't listening, no one ever listens. He's probably male, yeah that has to be it, males never understand.

"Heather?"

I whip around and come face to face with a confused Danny.

"Who were you talking too?" he asks, looking around with that insanely cute puzzled look.

Amazing, he can't take hints, but he can look so good and knows when I'm holding discussions with myself.

"The squid," I admit honestly.

There's a very long pause. Apparently Danny doesn't hold regular conversations with the Giant Squid because he's giving me a weird look as if he's hoping that he heard me wrong. It's so quiet that I can hear the gentle lapping of the lake, the splashing of the stupid, definitely male, giant squid, and the sound of approaching footsteps. Wait, footsteps. I look over Danny's shoulder and my eyes widen. Those aren't Aurors…

"DUCK!"

Danny dives to the ground, landing on top of me. Unceremoniously the two of us roll down the bank. When we finally stop, I can hear shouts, and see hexes, nasty jinxes flying in all directions. Danny gets up, inching his way back up the bank and I follow, despite his efforts to push me back into the safety of the lake.

"This is my best cloak!" I hiss, when he tries again to be noble.

Stupid Gryffindors, oh wait, I'm a Gryffindor too. Blame it on the gender, Heather, just blame it on the men. Stupid men. Just because I'm a female, it does not mean I am helpless.

I crawl down the sandy bank, dodging spells and a particularly scary jet of green light that I think was a killing curse. Nope this isn't Auror practice. These guys are out for blood. I crouch behind a rock, and carefully take count of the cloaked figures. There's five. Oh dear. I never imagined so many men would be after me at once. Each of them, I can't help but notice, is wearing a ridiculous mask along with the swishing dramatic midnight black hooded cloaks. It reminds me of that muggle opera Sophie and Hope forced me to go to once… It's like that, except cross it with a dementor and throw a little magic and cult into the mix.

"_Stupefy_!" I take out the closest guy to me before he can discover my hiding spot and then carefully pick out the leader of the pack. I take him out with a body binding curse and move onto the first confused follower that looks in my direction. He makes a move toward me but I stun him. My dueling luck runs out there, because a spell catches me off guard and suddenly my wand's gone and I'm floating, suspended in mid air.

"Put me down!" I scream, squirming and fighting wildly. But my fists close upon the air, and I can do nothing but roll and twist, and watch the ground grow smaller and smaller beneath me. "LET GO OF ME!"

The two cult members cackle, and say something to each other. Finally the one that has his wand on me and hasn't broken eye contact blinks and shrugs, breaking the connection.

"As you wish."

It was too easy, far too easy. I should've known there would be strings attached. I watch in slow motion as the ground, which seemed so far away only moments ago, rises up to meet me at an alarming rate.

I didn't win.

I'm going to die.

Something sways me, perhaps it's the breeze, perhaps it's a figment of my imagination, maybe I'm already dead, but suddenly instead of the rocky ground, it's the water that I see last.

1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

"Heather?"

I open my eyes hesitantly. So, this is heaven? I look around but my eyes are having trouble focusing and my back, my whole body actually aches all over. What the heck? I thought there was something in the contract about no pain, I want my money back!

"Oh Merlin, Heather, please." A hand brushes over my forehead and I see a face, a foggy image that I can't see due to the fact that someone removed my glasses. Guess in heaven they feel that there's no need to see either.

"Heather." I recognize the hoarse, familiar voice, that even now still strikes a chord inside of me. I lift my hand, reaching blindly for his face. I find his jaw and slowly trace the curve of his cheek. He's in desperate need of a shave, but you know that's a real turn on.

"Heather?"

"Danny?"

"You're alive?" he asks tentatively.

"I think so," I whisper, laughing softly. "But then again, I could be dead. You might be too, and all of this might be-"

A pair of lips cover mine, and all thoughts desert my head. Yes, this has to be heaven.

"OUT! NO MOLESTING THE PATIENTS! GET OUT OF HERE!"

Nope, I'm alive, very much alive. There's no way that Madam Pomfrey would be in my heaven, no matter how good of a healer she is. Danny smiles, squeezing my hand.

"I'll be back," he promises.

I smile and watch as Madam Pomfrey chases him from the room. Suddenly I'm very glad I'm not a Squid.


End file.
